The Non-Therapist: How To Help As If You Were A Pro (Or Even More So!) What is this book about?

Why is this book needed now?

There are several reasons why this book is needed right now. Let’s take a look at the circumstances that point to the need for informal compassionate helpers.

In Canada and the US, and perhaps in similar countries, the mental health system is in disarray. There are simply not enough professional therapists and government funded services to help all of the people that need to be helped. Non-government organizations (NGO’s) are trying valiantly to fill some of the gaps, but with precarious funding being suspended or eliminated, many of these agencies are either closing or are stretched so thin that responding to people in need at the local level is more difficult every day. For therapists, that means that some of the community resources we might have sent people to in the past, are either no longer available, or they are unable to keep up to the demand for their services.

The issue is complicated, and it has been going on for some time. Many people with mental health issues and everyday life issues feel lost and abandoned because they don’t know how or where to access help.

Mental health concerns are escalating in North America. Anxiety has always been a popular issue, and seems to be on the rise, partly due to COVID 19. Roughly 1 in 5 people suffer from anxiety. The overall suicide rate in the U.S. has increased by 31% since 2001. In Canada, 90% of suicides are by people who are already suffering from a mental health issue, and for every suicide death, there are 25 to 30 attempts. In 2019, approximately 4.4 million Canadians (14%) reported having a diagnosed mood or anxiety disorder.

There are frequently competing demands dumped on frontline workers. For example, how can a busy nurse take the time to engage with a noisy demanding family while trying to support a dying patient? Right now, health practitioners are feeling overwhelmed with the task of caring for physically ill patients, so looking out for the emotional needs of those who can breathe safely are less critical.

How can police support victims of spousal assault while also managing the abuser, if NGO services such as a victims’ support group are unavailable? How does a union shop steward support a stressed out employee while trying to uphold a workplace policy such as drug or alcohol use affecting work performance? It can be a balancing act.

One more issue to look at: professional therapy can be quite expensive, placing it out of the reach of many people. Too often, employment benefit plans and extended health care insurance plans are fairly limited, making it tough to access ongoing counselling. So where can people turn?

It seems that helpers of all types and at all levels are being called on to do more with less.

Some frontline workers are being asked to step into counselling roles that they may be unfamiliar with or don’t have the time to do. Or maybe their training was ages ago, and lacking current practice, their skills are rusty. Counselling may be added on top of their usual responsibilities, so how do folks in that situation do a good job of supporting while also trying to look after their usual tasks?

Some people just don’t feel comfortable going to see a professional therapist. Perhaps there is discomfort with the idea of appearing weak or of wasting time or money and yet feeling like they are getting nowhere. There have been conversations for decades in the psychotherapy community about how helpful professional help actually is. There are many people to whom therapy seems like nothing short of voodoo or charlatan nonsense. As a therapist, I am not about to knock therapy. I think that an experienced well-informed therapist can be extremely helpful. But does it always take someone with several degrees behind their name to be helpful? In my opinion, no.

This all means that others are being called on to pick up the slack. There is a gap crying out to be filled. And it can be filled by warm, compassionate people who are not professional therapists. The fact is, it does not require a boat load of fancy skills and degrees to be helpful. It takes compassion, common sense, authenticity, empathy and a few key skills.