Calm Yourself Down!
Don't want to be at the mercy of your strong emotions? Try these techniques to calm yourself down.
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Did you know we have 3 nervous systems?
The central nervous system is the one we don’t need to think about. It runs our brain, heart, digestion and other body functions. The autonomic nervous system is all about our emotions. It has 2 branches – the sympathetic system and the parasympathetic system.
The sympathetic system is the one activated when we feel love, joy, pleasure, excitement, and also when we feel anxiety, fear, anger, frustration.
The parasympathetic system is the “calm down” system. It is the one that we engage when we relax.
The two branches are biphasic and bipolar. In other words, they cannot both be activated at the same time. If the parasympathetic nervous system is dominant, then the sympathetic is down. If the sympathetic is up, then the parasympathetic system is down. That’s good news, because it means that we can actively do something to calm down when we feel distress.
So here’s the thing that matters: It is impossible for a body, in which every single muscle is relaxed, to feel distress. It’s really pretty simple, not always easy to do in practice, but with practice, it is quite wonderful.
One of the reasons why all of these suggested calm-down exercises works is that they all engage at least one of our 5 senses – sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. The 5 senses are directly connected to the parasympathetic nervous system, the calm down system. So – you want to relax? Engage your 5 senses.
These exercises all help the parasympathetic system to be dominant, thus squelching the sympathetic system and dampening our emotional feelings. Which are the most effective? Which ever ones work best for you. You can combine them for even better effect. For example, the jaw drop and the pelvic floor drop, followed by the diaphragmatic breathing is a popular combination. Or the peripheral vision and wet noodle is another popular combination.
Experiment with these. Try out all of them to discover which work the best for you. Then practice them about 10,000 times a day. Any time you feel a negative thought enter your consciousness, relax. Anytime you feel some distress rising, relax. Anytime you think about it, relax. Once every few minutes, relax, whether you need to or not. In a couple of weeks of using these skills often, your body will start to figure out what to do, and it will become easier, faster, and lead to deeper relaxation.
1. The 5Â Senses Inventory
Take a mental inventory of 5 things you can see around you, and list them. (“I see desk, I see lamp, I see carpet…”etc.)
Take a mental inventory of 4 things you can feel. (“I feel my shoes, I feel my bum on the chair, I feel my earrings…”)
Take a mental inventory of 3 things you can hear (“I hear a car on the road, I hear my fridge…”)
If you need more time, do it all again with 5 more things you can see, 4 more things you can feel, 3 more things you can hear.
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2. The Wet Noodle
Scan your body. Start at the top of your head and go right down to your toes. Find any muscle that is tight, scrunch it up and hold for 10 seconds, then let it go. Try tightening up all your muscles then letting them go to find the feeling of total relaxation.
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 3. Find Your Peripheral Vision
Focus on a spot on the wall straight ahead.
Keep your focus on that spot, but allow your field of view to widen and notice what you see in your peripheral vision.
You can hold your hands beside your ears and slowly extend them, keep your focus on the initial spot ahead of you but allow your peripheral vision to follow your hands.
Do this for 10 seconds.
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4. The Eye Roll
If your distress level is at about a level 1 or a 2 out of 10 (0 = no distress at all; 10 = the worst you can possibly imagine) this one will work for you. Look at the floor. Then very slowly raise your eyes until you are looking straight up at the ceiling. Hold it for a few seconds then relax. You will probably find yourself at a zero level of distress.
You can do this one again if the first attempt did not lower your distress level enough.
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5. Relax Your Jaw
Gently allow your jaw to drop towards the floor.
Drop your tongue. Get it off the roof of your mouth and let it touch your bottom teeth.
Try to drop the roof of your mouth.
Hold for 10 seconds.
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6. Relax Your Pelvis
Sit on your hands, dig around and find two bony points that stick down out of your pelvis into the seat cushion. Put pressure on those 2 spots for 10 seconds, until your body has a felt sense of them.
Sitting or standing, find the top of the widest part of your pelvic bones on both sides and press on them. Hold that sensation of feeling.
Draw imaginary lines or pieces of string to connect those 4 points. The left front hip point to the right front hip point; right front hip to right butt cheek point; right butt cheek point to left butt cheek point; left butt cheek point to left front hip point. That forms a rectangle with one side higher, so it forms a rectangle on a 450
Focus on the edges of the rectangle, the boundaries, and softly expand the rectangle outwards.
Relax the core muscles in the middle of the square.
Tighten up all the muscles you would use to try to not pee or poop. Hold them tight for 5 seconds then relax.
Everything will relax along with them.
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7. Deep Diaphramatic Breathing
Breathe deeply, as if you were breathing to your toes.
Slow your breathing down, while continuing to breathe deeply.
Lengthen the exhale to be about twice as long as the inhale. Try counting:
- In, 2, 3, 4
- Hold, 2, 3, 4
- Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
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- In, 2, 3, 4
- Hold 2, 3, 4
- Out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.
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Continue breathing deeply and consciously.
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