Make A Safety Plan

Having a safety plan that works for you is a top priority, regardless of whether you decide to stay in the home or leave. To make your plan, you will need to think through all the actions you need to take to keep yourself and your children safe.

 Below are some suggestions for things you might do. Take one action at a time and start with the one that is easiest and safest for you.

• Tell someone you trust about the abuse.
• Think about your partner’s past use and level of force. This will help you predict what type of danger you and your children are facing and when to leave.
• Tell your children that abuse is never right, even when someone they love is being abusive. Tell them the abuse is not their fault, and it is not your fault. They did not cause it and neither did you. Teach them it is important to stay safe when there is abuse.
• Plan where to go in an emergency. Teach your children how to get help. Tell them not to get between you and your partner if there is violence. Plan a code word to signal your children they should get help or leave.
• Don’t run to a place where your children are as your partner may hurt them as well.
• Create a plan to get out of your house safely and practice it with your children.
• Ask your neighbours, friends and family to call the police if they hear sounds of abuse and to look after your children in an emergency.
• If an argument is developing, move to a space where you can get outside easily. Don’t go to a room where there is potential access to weapons (eg. kitchen workshop, bathroom).
• If you are being hurt, protect your face with your arms around each side of your head, with your fingers locked together. Don’t wear scarves or long jewellery.
• Park your car by backing it into the driveway and keep it fuelled.
• Hide your keys, cell phone and some money near your escape route. Pack a bag with basic essentials for yourself and your children and hide it someplace safe where you can easily grab it.
• Have a list of phone numbers to call for help. You can keep a small rolled up piece of paper with emergency contact numbers in a small tube such as an old lipstick or lip balm container that looks like nothing special in your purse.
• Call the police if it is an emergency. Your local shelter or police may be able to equip you with a panic button/cell phone.
• Make sure all weapons and ammunition are hidden or removed from your home.

Emergency Grab Bag Packing List

• Important papers, such as the following. These can be stored on a thumb drive, or in a safety deposit box that your abuser does not know about.
  • Birth certificates, Social Security cards, and passports or immigration papers for you and your children.
  • Health insurance cards for you and your children.
  • Financial records, including recent bank statements and stocks or mutual fund records.
  • Housing documents, such as rental agreements, mortgage statements, or the title or deed.
  • Your most recent credit report.
  • The title or lease paperwork for your car.
  • Statements for any retirement plans.
  • The past two years’ tax returns.
• Medications and toiletries for you and your kids.
• 2 or 3 changes of clothes.
• Small toys, books, amusements for your kids.
• A “clean” cell phone that your abuser does not know about.
• Lists of phone numbers for emergency help, close supportive friends, taxis.
• Spare set of car keys, office keys.
• Bank cards, and some cash, including coins for parking meters and vending machines at hospitals or shelters.
• Small family heirlooms.
• Photos of anything in the house that is worth significant money, or large family heirlooms too big to take in a bag.
• Evidence of abuse, such as photos of bruises and wounds, damaged property; threatening notes; copies of police reports, medical reports.